Xylophone of Ultimate Darkness

The sun will sweat when it finds the joy you and your children will take in melodic harmony with the blinds pulled. William Gurley presents “Beat Blinds”: now with each and every note worthy of blackness at midday. Not included is “Foot-stool of Ultimate Tallness” for those up-and-coming percussionists whose curse it is to walk in ultimate shortness.

Will Gurley brings the beats: “Beat Blinds, xylophone window blinds. Put a little sound in your sill. These wooden window blinds have a secondary purpose as a musical instrument. Beat Blinds encourage children to embrace the world of music” […in the dark]

Certainly the most evil instrument devised this century, Beat Blinds steal not only the sunlight, but also the hearts of the parents whose children will be entranced by the joyful clonking of the xylophone keys. Feel free to shop here last, folks, because after your ultimate quest for dark instruments is over, you’ll realize that after Beat Blinds, there’s definitely none more black.

Designer: William Gurley


  • jihoonkim says:

    I like it!!
    If you have a kid or two, you would know how much kids love to play with blinds.
    This would be better for glass door blinds.

    good job

  • powers says:

    I’d be rocking out to White Stripes “The Nurse” on those things. Weird and wonderful concept.

  • Elisabeth says:

    Oh man, I want about 5 of these! Please e-mail me when they are available for purchasing.

  • Rodolfo Vanni says:

    Exelente idea, deveria ser obrigatorio en todos los Hogares!!

  • Ally says:

    I am doing a design project and interested in incorporating your blinds. Please let me know how much it costs to produce one and how much it takes if we want to purchase it in bulk

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  • Franky says:

    When will these be up for sale?

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